My first experience with an Oman wedding (not even the official wedding party, but just the "henna party," which will be explained later) could not be described as anything less than high class.
I had wondered when my first experience attending an Omani wedding would be, since my friend, former coworker and current Fulbrighter in the UAE had been attending so many of them in Abu Dhabi for her research there. So thankfully, my friend at my sponsoring ministry had invited me to go with her to this henna party for a girl's upcoming nuptials. Traditionally, the henna party is reserved for ladies and is usually a small affair, held at the bride's house. She invites her family members, including those of the groom, as well as her closest friends to help her prepare for her upcoming nuptials. It is then that henna is beautifully decorated on her hands and feet, as is traditionally done for Arab brides prior to the wedding day.
But this henna party was different. My friend Miad had told me that henna parties, if not at the bride's house, are usually held at the Muscat Oman Women's Association facilities, but not this one. Since the mother of the bride is part of the royal family, they had booked a huge hall in Medinat Qaboos to accommodate the expected 1000 -- !!! -- or so guests.
I panicked. WHAT DO I WEAR?
I expressed this concern to Miad, who responded ever-so-sweetly with a short text: "whatever you want, but wear something flashy. ;)"
Flashy? FLASHY?! Aisa doesn't do flashy, thank you very much. My sense of style is what I would dub "American comfort up a notch" ... think Ann Taylor/Banana Republic/Gap with a few printed shirts here and there, mostly monochrome (you can never go wrong with the black and white combo). The flashiest thing I own are those tunic shirts I bought at a shopping expo with the sequins and heaven knows that those shirts are NOT "flashy" enough. And considering not only the occasion, but also the reputation of the girl's family ... American comfort just wouldn't do. Thank goodness for that Centrepoint just a 10-20 minute drive away (pending traffic of course) to find such *flashiness* for the evening.
I met up with Miad at her house, to have her approve my chosen outfit for the evening. She offered her favorite jalabiya for me to borrow, but I resisted, knowing that traditional Omani hospitality would see to it that I would walk away at the end of the evening with that beautiful jalabiya in hand. And off we went. We arrived around 9.30 to find a huge carpeted hall, sumptuously decorated in curtains - heavy velvet drapery, light chiffon and tulle, and of course the requisite sparkly beads. Fresh flower arrangements topped the curtained archways through which the bride would enter as well as the stage at the front of the room, where she would have her henna done and sit patiently throughout the whole festivities to wait for it to dry ...
The hall was packed with women, both Omani and expat alike (the bride and groom both had spent quite some time abroad in the UK), dressed to the nines. Even Miad's chosen black and sparkly outfit was a bit dressed down compared to the bright pinks, greens, and blues that splattered through the room. And the SPARKLES. Sequins, bangles, glitter ... on the tables, chairs, centrepieces (which were traditional Omani boxes and coffee pots -- a nice touch, I thought) ... gold jewelry, headdresses. A lot of women were dressed in the traditional Omani style, with a veil (lehaf) loosely flowing on her head (not wrapped around her head), a tunic/dress (thawb) that reaches past her knees and pants tight around the ankles (sarwal) ... but completely updated with all the glitter and glitz you can imagine ... and stillettos. Welcome to the 21st century Omani wedding.
Around 10pm (it was considered early, as it was held on a Tuesday night), the bride enters, dressed in green (traditionally worn by Omani brides; it represents fertility). Her large entourage included the ladies of her family and her closest friends. Oh, and we can't forget the 4 belly dancers, who tilitated and entertained those lucky enough to sit near the dance floor/stage or the aisle .... There was singing and lots of ululation as the bride took her seat. Her face was covered by her lehaf and it would not be lifted that whole evening. Traditionally, the guests don't even see the bride and at traditional henna parties she is curtained off. Those who are doing her henna and her family are usually the only ones who can see her. But alas, this was a modern Omani wedding. The "curtain" was beaded.
(Completely contrary to my expectations, the guests were not decorated with henna ... goodness knows how long that would have taken with so many guests ... alas.)
After the henna decorations are painted on her hands and feet, she sits. And waits. Usually the groom doesn't show up (since it is a ladies' party after all), but for this one he did. With his own entourage of men -- and some women of his family -- as well. They all greeted the bride (still covered, her feet and hands stuck out awkwardly but gracefully in a way so that the henna can dry) ... danced ... sang ... and quickly left (well the men, anyway. The women stayed, of course). I wondered where all the men went. When we left, I half expected all of them to still be hanging out at the parking lot, smoking a cigarette or a shisha, having their own party. Alas, no dice.
And then there was food. LOTS OF FOOD. Traditional Omani food set up buffet style, with room for 2 large lines, but it was a free-for-all with everyone swarming the premises ... especially the dessert table. This was around 11pm. As everyone eats, little party favors are passed out (I have yet to unwrap mine ... guess I should do that soon) ... and when you're finished eating, everybody usually leaves.
Miad was saying that this particular henna party was upscale and high class, even for "regular" Omanis as herself. The grandiose scale on which this henna party was staged made me wonder what the actual wedding ceremony will be like ... And alas, I couldn't go, since there was no extra ticket (yes, tickets -- aka, your invitation -- are required). I bet that bride didn't know half the people at her henna party, but it sure looked like everyone was having a great time.
As as far as I'm concerned, despite the cultural differences in the traditions of a wedding, it felt a lot like what a wedding would be like in the states (at least from my experience with my crazy big Filipino-American family). Even if you don't know the couple very well, you go just to go ... to say that you went. You go to see who is there, to catch up with friends (even if it is the simple 10 second Omani greeting) ... to comment on what people are wearing ("Mashallah, so pretty"), to gossip about why this person didn't come, and why this person did, etc etc. Most of the time, I sat in my seat, observing the festivities, marveling at the fancy decorations, the glitter and glamour and glitz. I observed women, young and old alike, greeting each other, sharing seats, asking about each other's families, perhaps even making a deal to have their sons and daughters meet so that they too can host such a grand party in the future. Despite the fancy decorations and the status part of it all, it was all very Omani. The hospitality, the warmth of a greeting, the affection -- someone even asked Miad's mother if I was her adopted daughter!
That's what I love about the Middle Eastern and Omani culture ... the fact you can attend a complete stranger's henna party -- probably considered one of the most personal and private traditions of an Omani wedding -- and feel a bit out of place at the beginning, but in the end, feel like you're a part of the family ... I was a bit overwhelmed at first, because of all that was going on -- SO MANY PEOPLE! -- but in the end, I was glad that I had a chance to attend such an occasion with a new Omani friend. I love that feeling of contentment. I've had quite few moments like those thus far, and I'm grateful.
... Or maybe it's because of all that food that I ate ... :oP
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